REALLY?!?!

So, have you ever felt like the world just kicked you in the crotch, spit acid into your eyes, laughed at you from distance, then gave you a lollipop? Cuz that's me right now.

Last night, I stayed up 'til 4AM to plan my first and only presentation in my Russian Law course. I plan on waking up at 11AM to run some errands before class. I wake up at noon. I can start hearing the laughter...

Whatever, plenty of time. I go to the ATM in town to withdraw a ton of kroons. I go and pick up the passport photos I had made. Apparently, I asked for twenty photos? I think there was a miscommunication, as I now have 20 passport photos of me with a Rudolph nose (it was really cold outside that day). So I look like a posterboy for a Kleenex soft tissues commercial. Lord... At least the Russian embassy will have a good laugh when they see those...

Then I get an ISIC card. This goes very well and very fast. I can now get discounts on my travels to Helsinki in 10 hours. Weee! Then I go to pay the last part of my tuition bill. Umm... they don't open til 1PM even though online it says Noon. Fine. I will go to my daily bakery stop and have some breakfast. This too goes well.

Then I go back and pay for my tuition. This act is completed relatively quickly. Yes, I have "lost" more money than I thought I would, but it is paid. I can now stay here rest assured. And if another "mysterious" bill comes around, I'm blowing something up. Something big...

But then I go to to try and get my student ID for the University from my dean's secretary. She is not there. Hmm, must be on lunch. Okay, well, I can go exchange some kroons for euros so I can buy things in FINLAND!! This is when the acid was thrown into my eyes.

Wait, kroons are worth how much to the euro? I just exchanged how much?! "AAAaaahhh, my eyes!!! Why would you do that?!" Good lore, Finland's expensive.... Screw this.
FALSE. I'm still going to Finland. But exchanging the money made me realize, wow, this costs money. Plans eventually turn into cash. Cash in euros is expensive. Whatever. At least I'm splitting the cost with 3 other people. Whew.

Okay, surely the secretary is back from lunch. This is an incorrect assumption. Apparently she's taken the day off. I almost curse her, but then I remember how amazingly sweet and INCREDIBLY efficient she is. I forgive her (as if that's my right) and move on. But I can definitely hear the laughter.

I walk back to the dorm, having accomplished all but one of my errands, and now I get to rehearse my presentation. I rehearse it twice, make some revisions.

*WHACK*
Me: "Huwgh!!" (someone's kicked me in the balls)

What time is it?! When is my class?! Son of a b*****!!! You have got to be f****** kidding me!! I'm gonna dropkick a b***** (referring to kicking myself)!!!

So, when on your schedule it's all in military time, sometimes you assume when your classes are. You glance at 14:00, and your eyes see 4:00pm. This is not true. 14:00 refers to 2PM. TWO FREAKING HOURS before your dumbass assumption. I have missed the first hour of my class. The professor has undoubtedly heard the other presentations, has noted my absence, put a zero next to my presentation grade (one of 2 grades in the class), and has begun lecturing.

If I sprint, like literally sprint, I could get to the building in 10 minutes. I would only be 75 minutes late... I wouldn't get to present, I'm sure, but I could at least catch the rest of the lecture and look pretty. But I can't sprint, I've already run today. My legs are tired. So I can get there in twenty or so minutes.

Well, I at least have to return the book I was supposed to present on. A girl in the class checked it out for me, due to my lack of a library card. I have to do that. Then I can wait outside the class and beg for mercy. First, write an email. I write the most beautiful "I'm-an-intelligent,-hard-working-idiot-who-wishes-to-prove-himself-by-not-misreading-his-calendar-again,-did-I-mention-I-was-a-good-student?" email ever.

I then walk (or hobble considering I was seemingly kicked in the balls by a kung fu master) to the Law building with the most pissed off face look ever. I may have actually looked Russian/Estonian for once this trip. Return the book, then set up station outside the classroom to talk to the professor. Several students stop him to talk to him about the course, blah blah blah. I then walk up.
He says, "Hey, what happened to you?" I tell him I can't tell time.
"Well, that's actually something I can see happening. You're forgiven." Well, then, what could I do to make it up to him, considering I messed up his lecture and didn't present?
"Let's just say that you haven't made a presentation yet. Sound good?"

This would be the lollipop. "HOLY CRAP, YES, that sounds WONDERFUL".
In real life I said, "That sounds beyond good. Thank you, and I promise - "
"Never again... at least for this class. Have a good weekend."
"Thank you professor!!!!"

Were there not social norms embedded into my brain, I would have kissed him on the mouth, started running down the street while stripping my clothes. I would then make snow angels and take a nap in a tree. It was a really good lollipop, okay?

Now, the other side of this is that if I go to the Conference in St Petersburg, it counts as my presentation grade. I will do both to be sure, but today was supposed to be the perfect way of totally sealing 40% of my grade away so that I could focus on my paper. Well, that's not happening. Yaaaayyyy (read as unenthusiastically as possible).

I did watch the Reader, however, and liked it. So maybe that is another good thing that came out of the last 24 hours. Good Lord, get me to Finland, and let me have a good time!!